


voyage without passion or purpose

by tia37



Series: rotting corpses [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Horror, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-13 21:36:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12993012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tia37/pseuds/tia37
Summary: "If there is no body to be discovered, there will be no class trial." Those were Momota Kaito's last words to him before he succumbed to poison.Ouma locks himself in an Exisal with Momota's dead body and waits.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Basically an AU where Momota kicked the bucket before they could carry out their plan.
> 
> Español (incomplete): https://a.wattpad.com/508469271-voyage-without-passion-or-purpose-spanish-00  
> 한국어 (incomplete): http://c21728works.tistory.com/36

The smell was overpowering.

Even after so much time, Ouma could not get used to the smell. He was certain that when _(not if, when)_ he left the Exisal, no matter how much he scrubbed at his body and clothes, the smell would linger on him for the rest of his life.

But if Ouma hid Momota's body anywhere else, he was sure Monokuma or the ringleader would lead the rest to Momota, thus triggering a body discovery announcement. And with a body discovery announcement came a class trial. And with a class trial came another execution.

Another senseless death, another victim to the killing game. Momota did not want that. Neither did Ouma.

Ouma sat in the Exisal with Momota's dead body and waited.

* * *

Harukawa knew.

She was there when Momota kicked the bucket, after all. Stuck outside the hangar, powerless to do anything but watch as Momota coughed out his last words and handed Ouma the antidote on his own free will. She was there to hear his last words, the wishes he passed on to Ouma.

She was there as Momota passed away in Ouma's arms with a smile on his face.

In the dead of the night, she came to the hangar on her own free will. Ouma used the Exisal to scan her for weapons and found none, not even a simple kitchen knife. Odd, Ouma thought, but he entertained her anyway.

"What do you want, Harukawa-chan? Haven't you done enough?" Ouma sighed.  _Haven't you killed enough people? Haven't you done enough damage by killing Momota?_

"I brought you food. It's not poisoned." She threw the stale bread and water, still in its original packaging, at the Exisal. It bounced off the armored frame and fell on the floor.

"And what have I done to deserve such _kindness_ from little miss assassin herself?" Ouma drawled sarcastically. "First an antidote to a life threatening poison, now food!" Ouma's voice darkened. "Have you forgotten that I killed Iruma-chan and Gonta, that I'm the ringleader of this killing game?"

"...you're not the ringleader. If you were, you would have disregarded Momota's last wishes and strung his body up in a place where everyone would see, then hosted a class trial to execute me. But you didn't."

Ouma's breath stilled. He could continue his cover by proving her wrong and displaying Momota's body in the courtyard. It would certainly get rid of the smell, at least. But Momota's last words stuck with him. 

_If there is no body to be discovered, there will be no class trial._

Ouma sighed in defeat. "Fiiine, you got me. I'm not the ringleader. But that's a secret between the two of us, alright?"

Harukawa eyed the Exisal suspiciously. "Why say that you're the ringleader? Is it because of Enoshima Junko?"

Enoshima Junko, Enoshima Junko. That name sounded familiar. Ah, now he remembered. Harukawa asked him about her the first time she came to the hangar in the Exisal. "First of all, who is Enoshima Junko?" Ouma asked honestly. He had done so much digging on the Academy and the name Enoshima Junko had yet to come up, either in physical evidence or his memories. 

"From the last Flashback Light," Harukawa replied.

Even though Harukawa could not see him from inside the Exisal, Ouma rolled his eyes. "You forget, Harukawa-chan, that Momota-chan and I were in the hangar when you activated that flashback light. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Harukawa stilled. "Then... it's not true? That you're a Remnant of Despair..."

"If it is, I don't remember it."

"...I see." And she left.

* * *

Harukawa gave Ouma updates on the other students everytime she brought him food and water (always unsealed, or Ouma would never eat it). Shirogane and Yumeno coped with the loss of all their classmates by spending every hour of the day together. Kiibo holed himself up in his room, refusing to open the door for anyone. Saihara had taken to investigating Ouma's room.

Inwardly, Ouma cursed. Saihara had definitely seen the whiteboard and Ouma's chicken scrawl of 'trustworthy?' beside Saihara's picture by now. He should have cleaned up his room before putting his ringleader plan in motion. 

In return, Ouma shared his findings with Harukawa. He told her that Kiibo is most likely a spy for the ringleader _(whose talent could be their own existence?)_ , that Saihara was likely not the ringleader _(it's just a gut feeling, okay?)_. They discussed the possibility of the Flashback Lights being completely false _(and if that was false, how much of their memories were accurate? was Ouma Kokichi even his real name? what about DICE-)_

Harukawa told Ouma about the people she killed during her time as an assassin. Unlike Ouma, she did not feel much guilt over their deaths. They were scum of the earth, she said, and they deserved what was coming for them.

Neither of them brought up Momota. 

* * *

Before long, another Monokuma showed up and declared a new motive.

"There's a traitor among you lot! One of you is working together with Ouma Kokichi!" Monokuma roared. "If you find this traitor and kill them, I will give you a free pass to graduate from the Academy!"

Saihara tapped his chin. "But aren't you and Ouma working together? Unless the true ringleader thinks of Ouma-kun as a nuisance and wants to get rid of him."

Monokuma fell silent and scampered away.

* * *

After that, no one talked about Ouma being the ringleader.

* * *

Of course, Saihara had to be the one to figure it out. He was the Ultimate Detective, after all. Ouma sat in his Exisal (with Momota, of course) and waited inside the hangar, eavesdropping on Saihara and Harukawa's conversation.

"Harukawa-san, I want you to be honest with me. The one who's working together with Ouma-kun... it's you, isn't it?"

"...yes."

"Why? He killed Iruma-san and Gonta-kun, and kidnapped Momota-kun. Unless... he's holding Momota-kun ransom in exchange for your cooperation?"

"No, nothing like that. I'm doing this of my own free will."

"I... don't understand. But I trust you, Harukawa-san. You're my friend."

"Meet me at the hangar at midnight. Ouma will do a better job explaining that I will." Harukawa glanced towards the Exisal, and Ouma understood. He made sure to stay awake long enough for Saihara to arrive and explain things to him. He left out when Harukawa killed Momota, instead opting to focus on Iruma and Gonta.

"I... think I understand now. Why you killed Iruma-san and Gonta-kun, why you gave us the Electrohammers in the first place, everything. Because if you died, no one would know the Electrohammers existed, right? And they were our best shot against Monokuma."

Ouma's eyes sparkled. "As expected of the Ultimate Detective! You never cease to amaze me, Saihara-chan."

"But there's one thing that still bothers me."

"What is it, my beloved Saihara-chan?"

"Where is Momota-kun?"

* * *

Thanks to Monokuma's slip up in regards to Ouma not being the ringleader, he was able to leave the Exisal without much risk of being murdered. Still, he opted to scamper back to his room in the middle of the night, just to make sure that everyone who was not in on the plan would not be alerted.

But someone had to stay and watch Momota's body in case Monokuma tried to start a class trial. Harukawa volunteered, so Ouma switched places with her and headed to his room to take a much needed shower. Weeks of being stuck alone with a dead body and festering arrow wounds did not do much for Ouma's hygiene.

Saihara, after seeing Ouma's bloodstained uniform and wounds, insisted Ouma spend the night in a proper bed for once. Ouma protested _(most of the blood isn't mine, it's Momota-chan's!)_ but Saihara would not hear it. He pried Ouma's top off and obtained some disinfectant and bandages, cleaning and wrapping Ouma's arm and back.

Ouma shivered in delight as he felt Saihara touch his bare skin, then swallowed his disgust at himself for taking pleasure in this.

"I can't believe you sat alone with Momota-kun's... body... and open wounds."

Ouma laughed hollowly. "Amazing, isn't it? I can't believe I'm not dead. Two different people have tried to kill me and I'm still alive. Haha, maybe I should be called the Ultimate Lucky Student instead?"

Saihara gritted his teeth. "Don't joke about that. You could have died."

"Aww, don't pretend you'd care if I died. I did kill Momota-chan, after all. And now I'm hiding his body away so there won't be a class trial. Aren't I a coward?" Ouma giggled with his signature laugh, but Saihara did not fall for it. 

"...no, you didn't kill Momota-kun." Saihara's fingers circled Ouma's back wound, and Ouma bit his lip to keep from letting out a pained cry. "These are puncture wounds from arrows. The only thing I can think of that can fire arrows in this Academy are the crossbows in Harukawa-san's lab. The crossbows require assembly, and you need to be taught how to assemble a crossbow to use it. You and Harukawa-san were not on good terms, so it is unlikely she taught you how. So even if you could have fired the crossbow, you couldn't have brought it. Besides, you would have been in the hangar all the time. There was no time for you to go to my lab and grab not only the Strike-9 poison, but also its antidote."

Saihara took a deep breath and continued. "I think... Harukawa-san tried to kill you. But Momota-kun got caught up in it, and he died instead."

Ouma's lips twisted into a grim smile. As expected of the Ultimate Detective.

* * *

 

Without Momota beside him, Ouma could not fall asleep. Saihara, who had been keeping watch for Ouma, turned to the injured boy.

"You need to get some rest, you know," Saihara said.

Ouma scoffed. Of course he knew that. It was just... even if Momota's fingers were decaying, it was still a comfort to Ouma to hold someone's hand as he fell asleep. But admitting that he held a dead boy's hand to ward off nightmares was creepy and disgusting even to him, so he settled on lying.

"It's because Saihara-chan is here!" Ouma complained. "If I don't see Saihara-chan's ugly mug, I'd be able to sleep like a baby!"

That was a lie, of course. Saihara was handsome and charming, and was beautiful in all the ways Ouma was not. 

Saihara sighed. He walked over to Ouma's bed and buried himself beneath the covers, then buried Ouma's head in his chest. He was even careful not to touch Ouma's wounds.

Ouma's heart skipped a beat.

"There. Now you won't see my face, will you?" Saihara said. He reached down to thread his fingers through Ouma's the same way Ouma did to Momota.

Ouma fell asleep within minutes.

* * *

Now that the ringleader was confirmed to be female (with Saihara joining the party and Keebo being a tool of the ringleader, leaving only Yumeno and Shirogane), Ouma gave the Bugvac he nicked from his room to Harukawa and sent her on a mission to search every female-exclusive place thoroughly.

Thus, Harukawa's usual duty of giving Ouma food and water fell onto Saihara.

Unlike with Harukawa, Ouma found himself letting his guard down. First, they talked about the killing game, about why Ouma killed Iruma and Gonta. Ouma even found himself admitting his immense guilt to Saihara, even confessing that he wished Monokuma executed him alongside Gonta. After a few days, he found himself talking to Saihara about more than the killing game. They talked about their lives outside the Academy, Ouma about DICE and Saihara about his uncle and friends at school. 

Saihara truly was an interesting person, full of contradictions and lies even if he himself was not aware of them. He wanted to believe in people like Momota did, but his duty as a detective commanded that he be suspicious of everyone. He wanted the truth, but he was not beneath using lies in trials to get what he wanted. He brushed Ouma off as just being Ouma, but also was the only person who ever bothered to reach beneath the mask of lies and see the fragile, hurting boy underneath. 

Ouma longed for Saihara's touch again, to feel his lithe body against Saihara's wiry frame. He wanted Saihara's warm hands to touch his. He recalled Saihara bandaging his hand from when he accidentally cut his own hand with a knife, and Saihara cleaning his wounds methodically during the first and last time he exited the Exisal since Momota's death. And of course, the night they spent together, Ouma falling asleep in Saihara's arms.

But instead, he was stuck in a cramped space with the rotting body of a boy he made an impossible promise to, with no foreseeable future in which they could escape with their lives.

Ouma may not have died along with Gonta, but this was certainly his own version of hell.

* * *

In the girl's bathroom on the first floor, Harukawa found a secret passage that led to the hidden room in the library.

In that room, Saihara found a bloody Monopad and a shot put ball with pink fibres.

In Ouma's mind, everything finally fell into place.


	2. Chapter 2

Alone in the Exisal, with Momota's decaying corpse, Ouma let himself think.

Despite Momota's naive personality, he was not dumb. No, being an astronaut required brains and brawn in equal parts. They needed to be good at engineering and mechanical repairs, and they needed knowledge of scientific research to conduct up in space. They also needed to be adaptable.

But the most important thing for astronauts to learn was communication.

Astronauts were required to be proficient in not only Japanese and English, but also Russian. They needed to be personable and well-liked. They needed to be able to communicate with their fellow astronauts with minimal misunderstanding, because all they had up in space was each other.

That was the fundamental difference between Momota and Ouma.

Momota knew that all they had in this killing game was each other. He spoke to bring them together, because the slightest crack in trust would lead to their fragile peace falling to pieces. When Ouma spoke, he laid out the cold, hard facts. Even when he was lying, he did so with the express purpose of manipulating the conversation in his direction. He never spared a thought for _feelings_ , of all things. 

_(He brushed off feelings as weakness, but that was only because he could not face them himself.)_

It was Ouma's mistake to write off Momota as hot-headed and sensitive. Because his sensitivity was not a weakness, it was his strength. Because his talent alone proved that he was more intelligent than he let on. Because with his dying breath, Momota ruined the killing game more than Ouma's overly convoluted plans ever could. 

"Hey, Momota-chan," Ouma asked. He could barely see in the dimly lit cockpit, but he reached down to where he knew Momota's hand was and squeezed it. It was slimy, but Ouma tried not to think too hard about it. "What if I killed Iruma-chan myself and hid her body somewhere? Maybe Gonta wouldn't have had to die, hmm?"

Momota did not reply.

Ouma giggled. "Yeah, I know. It's too late for regrets."

* * *

"Hey, Ouma-kun. Why don't you come out of the Exisal?"

Because the Exisal was a weapon. It could protect him from anyone who wanted to kill him, namely the ringleader. He was sure the moment he stepped out without someone to guard him, Saihara would have to face a class trial for both his and Momota's deaths. Then Harukawa would have to die, and he promised Momota he would end the killing game.

_(More importantly, it was his punishment for murdering Iruma and Gonta and even Momota in cold blood. He deserved to rot in the Exisal alone.)_

"Why would I? I've got Momota-chan here. He's waaay better than boring old Saihara-chan!" Ouma said in a singsong manner. That was a lie. He would give anything to get out of the Exisal for good. Who wouldn't, if they were stuck with a corpse almost 24/7?

"Ouma-kun, I understand wanting to keep Momota-kun's body away from everyone. But you don't have to stay inside with it all the time."

Ouma scoffed. "Are you daft, Saihara-chan? I thought you were supposed to be a detective. The moment I leave this Exisal, Monokuma will find a way to get three innocent witnesses to see the body."

Saihara hesitated. "We could... take turns."

Unacceptable. Unlike Harukawa, he was not used to the sight and scent of death. Even as a detective, he only handled mundane cases like missing pets and cheating spouses. Ouma could not taint his beloved, innocent detective like that. Even though Saihara had undoubtedly handled checking the dead bodies of their classmates for clues, this was different. Ouma knew it first hand. The rot, this _stench_ -

"People will notice if you go missing. They won't care about me." It hurt, the fact that he was the least well-liked person in this game, but it was the truth. With his hand in Iruma and Gonta's deaths, there was no way he would be welcomed into the group as if nothing happened. Saihara, on the other hand, was the one who carried them through the class trials. He was useful and sensitive and kind and everything Ouma was not, which immediately made him much better than Ouma by default.

"Gonta's last words were for you to get along with the group, right? And you agreed. Was that a lie?" Saihara pressed.

Saihara hit a low blow right there. The truth was, Ouma wanted to get along with everyone. He wanted learn to cook with Tojo and find out Amami's real talent (not the Ultimate Survivor talent, but his original talent). He wanted to help Gonta find bugs in the courtyard and come up with ideas to help Iruma finally get laid. He wanted to know if Kiibo had a dick (if Iruma bothered to put one on him) and train with Harukawa (maybe her training routine could help him grow taller) and find a cure to Momota's illness.

He wanted to hold Saihara's hand and lay with him under the stars in the courtyard and maybe press a chaste kiss to Saihara's soft, slightly chapped lips. He wanted to curl up beside Saihara in bed and feel the other boy's gentle snores lull him to sleep. He wanted Saihara to look at him for he truly was, stripped down from the mask and lies and see the good in him.

But in the end, Ouma Kokichi was just a filthy liar.

"Of course, Saihara-chan. My body is made up of 70% lies! Or maybe that's a lie too?" Ouma took control of the Exisal and clenched the machine's fist around Saihara's wiry frame. "Do remember that I killed both Iruma-chan and Gonta. I could very easily kill you too."

"You won't," Saihara said confidently. 

"Eh?" Ouma was genuinely surprised. He had never seen Saihara so confident in anything, not even during the class trials. Yet here he was, about to be crushed by the giant, mechanical arm of a robot, looking at Ouma in the eye with no trace of doubt in his eyes. Ouma lifted Saihara off the ground and brought him close to the Exisal's cockpit with the intention to intimidate him. But of course, that backfired on Ouma too.

"You won't. I'm certain of it. It took a long time for me to realize that you were only doing this for our benefit, and I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner. But you're my friend, Ouma-kun. And deep down inside, I know you want to be friends with me too."

Ouma opened his mouth to say something, anything. There were a myriad of things he could say. He could mock Saihara for believing in an obvious lie, or resume his ringleader act and remind Saihara that in the end, he was the one who caused Iruma and Gonta's deaths. He could have hinted that he wanted to be more than friends with Saihara, then laughed it off as a lie.

But all he did was to put Saihara down without a word.

* * *

Ouma had one electrobomb left to use. Two, after Harukawa revealed that she took the missing electrobomb from him.

He waited until both Harukawa and Saihara met him in the front of the Shrine of Judgement and opened the Exisal cockpit. Saihara gagged. Even Harukawa looked a little pale. Still, they did not move. They had worked together long enough to realize that look in his eyes meant he was planning something.

Ouma waited until he saw Monokuma in the corner of his eye, then set off the Electrobomb. The bear fizzled and died out.

"I know who the ringleader is," Ouma said. And he started to explain his plan. 

* * *

_(When Ouma retreated back into the Exisal, he started coughing violently. He covered his mouth with his hand to prevent blood from spilling onto his white clothes, lest the others find out._

_Time spent with Momota's rotting body made him catch whatever disease Momota had before he died. He was running out of time.)_

* * *

Ouma found Harukawa in the courtyard with a shovel in her hands, Momota's body where he left it. She was shoveling a hole in the ground right besides Momota.

"Momota loved the stars," she explained. "He should have a good view of them."

"Let me help," he offered, and Harukawa pointed to the second shovel on the ground nearby.

"Saihara wanted to help, but I told him to review the evidence for the case before the trial. He's better at putting the pieces together than me."

Ouma snorted. "Don't lie, Harukawa-chan. Saihara-chan was probably looking a little green, so you sent him away."

"Maybe," Harukawa admitted. Then they got to work.

The silence was a familiar, comfortable one. They fell into a rhythm, digging for a few minutes before Ouma had to stop to catch his breath. Sweat dripped down his forehead and soaked his clothes, and he had to lean on the shovel for support.

"How much longer have you got?"

"Eh? What do you mean, Harukawa-chan?" Ouma asked innocently. 

Harukawa glared at him. "Don't play dumb. I saw a few specks of blood on the cuff of your sleeve. They're a few days old at most, definitely not three weeks old. They're not from Momota, so they must be from you. So, let me ask again: _how much longer have you got?_ "

She was an assassin, so of course she would know about the color and age of bloodstains. She could probably smell death on him too, with the weakness in his limbs and spirit and everywhere in between.

He could lie, but he was so tired. Standing made him tired. _Breathing_ made him tired. He just wanted to lay down and rest and never wake up. He had been tired since he saw the "truth of the outside world". He was even more exhausted now with this incurable illness. He just wanted to sleep.

"...I don't know. I'm not a doctor, Harukawa-chan. Maybe a few days, a few weeks at most without medical aid."

"Tell me about the symptoms," Harukawa urged.

"I feel dizzy. My vision blurs at odd times. Sometimes, I can't see at all. I cough and vomit blood. It's hard to keep standing for long periods of time."

Harukawa narrowed her eyes. "Then you shouldn't be shoveling dirt. Leave, Ouma. You've done enough for both me and Momota."

A few weeks ago, Ouma would have made a witty remark or been a brat and insisted on staying. Now, he was just tired. "Alright. I'll go take a shower then." He turned to the dorms, but is stopped in his tracks by Harukawa's last words.

"...Ouma? Thank you. You saved my life. I'm sure Momota is grateful to you as well."

Ouma turned to the dorms. He has saved no one's life but his own.

* * *

Ouma scrubbed and scrubbed at his body until he reopened his wounds and started to bleed, but the stench of death would not go away.

Saihara entered the shower and pulled him out, cleaning and redressing his wounds. He held back tears as he let Saihara fuss over him, knowing that it would likely be the last time.

His days were numbered, just like Momota's.

* * *

Ouma fidgeted at the podium, biting the fingernail of his thumb until he could taste the metallic tinge of blood.

This was the decisive class trial, the trial to end all class trials. He made Saihara and Harukawa gather all the remaining participants in the courtyard and threw Momota's body out of the Exisal just to make sure Monokuma held a class trial. He had to make sure the ringleader was exposed in this class trial, or Harukawa would be named the blackened and executed. He was gambling with either Harukawa's or everyone's lives, and he could not afford to fail.

 _(The chorus of screams that echoed in the courtyard still rang in his ears. Yumeno fainted on the spot when Momota landed right beside her. Even Harukawa looked a bit pale at the sight of Momota's rotting corpse, bloated and leaking bodily fluids from every orifice. What's the big deal? It's not as if_ they _had to spend three entire weeks sitting in a cramped space with Momota-chan. Cowards, the lot of them.)_

Monokuma opened the class trial with his usual lines explaining the class trial. Ouma took a deep breath. It was time to face the truth.

* * *

With Saihara's help, he managed to push the topic away from Momota's death and to Akamatsu's wrongful execution. They managed to corner Shirogane into admitting she was the ringleader. They even managed to get Shirogane to slip and admit that they were being watched by other people, proving that they were not the only humans left in existence.

Shirogane told them they were on a game show called Danganronpa. She showed them Akamatsu, Momota and Saihara's audition tapes. It was a huge blow to their morale, especially Saihara and Harukawa. Ouma had considered the possibility that their memories were all fake and shared it with them, but it was still a shock to actually see what they were like before they got their talents.

Just when everyone thought she was done, Shirogane brought out one more tape. Dressed in a black gakuran, fidgeting in front of the camera, was Ouma Kokichi.

The Ouma on screen bit his lower lip and clenched and unclenched his hands. "H-hello, my name is [unintelligible]. I'm participating in this game because... well... I hate myself."

Ouma's hand gripped the podium. The itch in his throat grew.

"I hate that I lack confidence. I hate that everyone pushes me around. I want to... turn myself into a different person. I know that Danganronpa contestants get their memories wiped and new personalities installed in them. I want the current me to disappear, even if there's a chance I die in the game. That's fine. If I don't get into the game, I'll kill myself anyway."

He heaved and blood splurted from his lips, staining his pristine uniform red.

"Ouma-kun!" Saihara exclaimed.

"Even if my implanted personality is a lie... for that moment, I want it to be the truth."

Ouma's legs gave out under him. Yumeno, who was standing on Ouma's right, rushed to help him up. 

Shirogane grinned a little too widely. "Ouma Kokichi was never meant to be the main antagonist. Amami Rantarou, the unknown Ultimate, should have rivaled Akamatsu Kaede. But guess what? They both died in the first chapter! Saihara-kun was planned to replace Akamatsu-san someday, but not so soon. I had to do something. We hadn't had time to set up a villain in this game. So, we chose Angie-san. But Angie-san started destroying our Flashback Lights. That was unacceptable. So we decided to have Shinguuji kill her."

Yumeno's grip tightened around Ouma's waist. "Angie... was killed because of you?"

Shirogane tutted. "No no no. Shinguuji-kun killed Angie-san. But if Shinguuji-kun got away with his murder, the game would've ended. So, we had him kill Chabashira-san as well."

"You..." Yumeno growled.

"And when we implanted you with the despair disease with the fourth Flashback Light, Ouma-kun, you went above and beyond our expectations! You deviated from the script completely! You... you were meant to kill someone and get away with it while letting the game continue on, but you were never meant to admit you were the mastermind and go to such lengths to avoid a class trial. You filled me with such despair, that a character I created would be the one to destroy me.

"You are truly.. my best creation." Shirogane drooled, stars in her eyes and a faraway look in her expression.

Ouma gritted his teeth. He was no one's creation, he belonged to no one. He was his own person. But the more he thought about it, the more what Shirogane said made sense.

Before Shinguuji's execution he was simply mischievous, manipulative at worst. Playing pranks on everyone, being a slight nuisance in general. But something in him changed after the fourth Flashback Light. The him before had a strict no-killing rule in place, but when he found out Iruma was going to kill him, the first thing he did was kill her instead. He could have found so many alternatives; refusing to go into the Virtual World, telling other people about Iruma's plans and have them stay away from her, anything. But he killed her. And because he killed her, Gonta died.

How did he not realize that he was being manipulated?

"And well, we gave Momota-kun a disease to make the game more interesting. A real one, not the mental one implanted into Ouma-kun. The boy who gave hope to a girl in despair, only to die and leave her behind! That was the plotline we planned for you, Harukawa-san. Though the disease was only planned for Momota-kun. I never expected other people to catch it!" Shirogane cooed. "I guess that's what you get when you insist on shutting yourself in with a corpse for weeks on end!"

"So... you killed Momota," Harukawa said quietly.

"Enoshima" cackled. "Just because I sped up his death doesn't mean _I_ was the cause of it. Don't you remember? _You_ killed Momota-kun." Harukawa pursed her lips but said nothing.

"If you hadn't set up the killing game, no one would've died!" Kiibo accused.

"Togami" crossed his arms in front of him. "And you... Kiibo. The rest of them may be written characters, but you are the only one truly made from scratch."

"W-what?"

"Komaeda" pointed to his head, a condescending expression on his face. "You were built for the express purpose of this game, you know? Audience participation was made possible thanks to you. The inner voice you hear? That's all audience polls from the official Team Danganronpa website."

Kiibo stepped back in shock. "T-that can't be. That can't be all there is."

"Maizono" gave them a sickly sweet smile. "It's the truth you fought so valiantly for."

"You're wrong," Ouma said quietly. 

Shirogane returned to her normal self. "Hmm?"

"That's not us in the audition videos."

Shirogane scoffed. "That is undoubtedly you. I should know, I was the one who auditioned you all."

"No, it's not. Saihara-chan's clip showed him wearing a cap, but the cap was straight. When Saihara-chan wore a cap, he always wore it tilted over his left eye."

Saihara's eyes widened. "T-that's right. I did always tilt my hat a little to one side."

Shirogane rolled her eyes. "So? Maybe he wanted to straighten himself up for the audition."

"When Saihara-chan's hat started to move back to the center, he always moved it back to cover his left eye. I know because..." Ouma took a deep breath. No more lies, just the truth. "I know because I observe him more than anyone else in the game. Even though that looks like Saihara-chan, that isn't him."

"So what? We should believe you because you have a huuuge crush on Saihara?"

"Yes," Ouma agreed. You could hear a pin drop in the trial grounds, but Ouma stood his ground and stared at Shirogane right in the eyes. "You've been showcasing your ability to impersonate someone right in front of our eyes, Shirogane-chan. You've faked our memories, our talents, our entire lives. Who's to say you didn't fake these tapes too?"

Shirogane smiled thinly. "...you got me. Impressive. Yes, none of you volunteered to be in the killing game. All of you were kidnapped from various places in Japan."

Ouma took a deep breath. He held the podium to steady himself, knowing that if he let go he would collapse to the ground again. "Shirogane-chan, our memories were faked, right? What's to say yours aren't being faked too? Team Danganronpa is using you. Please, just stop this. Stop the killing game. Let us go home."

For a moment, Ouma thought he saw Shirogane hesitate. He let himself hope for a moment that Shirogane could be saved and they could all escape together. But in a split second, that hesitation was gone. "I can't do that. After all, this is a trial for Momota Kaito's murder. It's time to vote for the blackened."

"No!" Saihara yelled. Across him, Harukawa closed her eyes in defeat.

"No, Saihara. I deserve to face judgement. It took three weeks for this trial to happen, but now it's finally time."

"Not if I can help it," Ouma whispered. Behind his back, he set off the last electrobomb. 

* * *

 

Kiibo dropped to the floor, spasming for a few seconds before going still. Yet another death on Ouma's hands. But if all went according to plan, everyone else would be saved.

The ceiling rumbled and came crashing down.

* * *

 

It worked. 

The bombs in the Shrine of Judgement were placed so that they would miss the participants. Everyone was supposed to run to where Ouma and Yumeno's podium stands were as soon as possible, because that was the designated safe spot. There would be a barrier of rubble between them and Shirogane, and hopefully there would be enough confusion that they could slip away.

Except, Ouma lied. He made sure the rubble would crush Shirogane and kill her instantly.

He also miscalculated. Not only did a huge boulder drop between them and Harukawa, effectively separating them, but a piece of rubble also fell towards Yumeno and Ouma. Yumeno managed to get away in time, but Ouma had slower reflexes because of his illness. The boulder hit him in the stomach and pinned him to the ground.

Pain. There was so much pain everywhere. He opened his mouth in a wordless scream and vomited more blood.

"Ouma!" Yumeno shrieked. She ran to pry the boulder off him, but he gripped her wrist and shook his head. The Ultimate Academy of Gifted Juveniles was the resting place of his victims, and he would join them in death.

"There's an opening where I am. I'll go get help," Harukawa said before running off.

Yumeno stood up, face pinched to hold back her tears. "Why did this have to happen?"

Ouma knew he must have been a pathetic sight. Blood dribbling down his chin and the sides of his face, blood pooling under him from his stomach wound. His eyes welled up with tears. The truth was that he did not want to die, but he would not survive.

"Ouma-kun, it's okay," Saihara coaxed. He stroked Ouma's hair in an attempt to comfort him, and it worked. Ouma's breathing relaxed and his heart rate slowed.

"Saihara-chan... can you do me one last favor?" Ouma pleaded. 

Saihara reached out for Ouma's hand and squeezed it. "Anything, Ouma-kun. Just stay with me, okay? Harukawa-san's going to get help."

"Lie to me. Tell me-" a coughing fit interrupted him, but he continued. "Tell me that I'm not going to die. Tell me that I was your friend. Smile for me, one last time."

"I'm not lying, Ouma-kun. I really do consider you my friend. I won't leave your side, no matter what." Saihara started to cry.

"Saihara-chan," Ouma rasped. With great effort, he lifted his bloody hand to Saihara's cheek. "Please. It's getting... hard to see." 

At first, Saihara just stared at Ouma, tears streaming down his cheek. Without letting go of Ouma's hand Saihara wiped his tears away with the sleeves of his shirt. He gripped Ouma's hand tightly, then gave Ouma the biggest smile he had ever seen from the shy boy. "You'll be fine, alright? Harukawa-san will find help. She will."

It was getting hard to breathe. He could not feel his legs anymore. In fact, he realized, he could not feel any pain at all. "Do you think... Iruma-chan and Gonta... Momota-chan... Kiibo... Shirogane-chan... will they forgive me?"

Saihara nodded fervently. "Of course. I'm sure they've forgiven you a long time ago. They are your friends."

He opened his mouth to reply, but all that came out was a choking cry. His eyes were open, but all he saw was darkness. Distantly, he heard Yumeno sob. Ouma felt Saihara's tears fall onto his face, drop by drop. He felt the warm grip of Saihara's hands on his own clammy ones, conjured up the last image he had of Saihara smiling at him _(the most beautiful and radiant thing he had ever set his eyes on in his sixteen years of life)_. He remembered-

He remembered being dressed in that black gakuran from his audition video, holding hands with Shuichi. He remembered confessing to Shuichi under the stars, the same stars they shared their first kiss under. He remembered studying together so they could get into the same college, because being in different high schools was unbearable-

He remembered running to Shuichi's apartment when he was attacked in his own apartment, how Shuichi tended to his wounds and held his hand to sleep. He remembered walking to school with Shuichi the next day despite being in different high schools, not bold enough to hold hands in public because they would not be accepted for who they were. He remembered-

He remembered the day Shuichi disappeared. He remembered tracking down Team Danganronpa in the despair-ridden world and murdering four of them in cold blood with a gun he stole off a dead body in this post-apocalyptic world, before being captured and placed in the killing game as the sixteenth student.

"Ouma-kun, you said you had feelings for me. So please, stay with me. Don't- don't go, please. Do this for me?" Shuichi pleaded. 

Ouma smiled widely and closed his eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I really didn't expect anyone to read this, let alone enjoy it; my style of writing is rather morbid and unsightly, and very few people can stomach it.
> 
> (My friend in class looked over my shoulder to read the first part of this chapter and I could practically smell her nausea and discomfort lol)
> 
> There will be a somewhat-prequel to this from Momota's point of view. I just need to get my shit together and write it.

**Author's Note:**

> A few notes on this fic:
> 
> I wrote this 24 hours before my essay test because I was stressed, in a Starbucks half an hour away from my dorms (because there was a bloody fucking blackout in town one day before my fucking test).
> 
> I don't like the Saiouma in this. It's forced and I hate it. But it was sort of a major plot device (Ouma realizing that it wasn't Saihara in the audition tapes) so it had to stay. Also it added more angst I guess
> 
> The ending is left ambiguous for those of you who like happy endings, but I'd like to point out the tag that says 'Major Character Death'.
> 
> If you're here for the Saiouma, it's the main focus in another drafted prequel.


End file.
